looking for my own path...

Looking for my own path. Looking for something i loved to do. I wondering what the meaning of my life. Deep inside my heart so black, i mean pure black. Empty and unreasonable to stay alive. Sometimes i tired with all the problem that bugging me all the time. Really want to put an end of my life. Then i think again, who gonna take care of them if i gone. I love and miss them so much. The main meaning i stay alive is because of them. Other than that, i don't know. It seem i only see one colour only. Unlike others, see such colourful like a rainbow. I believed i should not give up and keep looking for something i loved to do. Maybe someday, i found what i been looking for.

"I don't understand you"

I don't know what you mean by saying 'i don't understand you'. Let me tell you what happen last night. Right before i sign out YM, i did tell you that i have to sign out. Someone is knocking my door so hard. You know who was it. Keep telling me to stop online and open the door. I'm just keep silent in my room what ever he said. At that time, i still online with you. I don't know what really happen to him. Lastly, i shut down my laptop and open my door. After that, you know what happen. I argue with him. Everything i do, he not satisfy enough. What the hell. For this couple years, i been listening and do what ever he said me to do. What else he want me to do. I want to do something i like and loved. I don't want to dependable with them. I'm not asking them anyway. Everything i do is my business. What he want from me anyway. I'm not disturb them. He want me accompany him watch tv or what so ever he want me to do. Ok, fine. I'm not in my room anymore. My lil brother went to my room and took modem from me. I really wanna online at that time, you send a msg saying 'i don't understand you'. I keep wondering, what you mean by saying something like that. If you don't understand, then ask me. I can't sleep and keep thinking what you mean. I told you everything. Maybe some of my ym msg don't reach at you. Aiyaa.. Btw, i miss you so much. Love you so much. Have a nice day. Muah.