Friday, July 24, 2009

I'm Sorry.. I'm Addicted..

Friday, July 24, 2009 1
Because Of You

[Verse 1]

Want to but I can't help it.
I love the way it feels.
This got me stuck between my fantasy and what is real.
I need it when I want it.
I want it when I don't.
Tell myself I'd stop everyday,
Knowing that I won't

[Hook #1]
I've got a problem and I.. (don't know what to do about it)
Even if I did, I don't know if i would quit
But I doubt it. I'm,
Taken by the thought of it..(mmm mm)

And I know this much is true (mmmmm)
Baby, you have become my addiction.
I'm so strung out on you (mmmm)
I can barely move...but I like it,

So, then it's all because of you (all because of you)
So, then it's all because of you (all because of you)
And it's all because of you (all because of you)
So, then it's all because...
Never get enough,
She's the sweetest drug. (Oowuuu)

[Verse 2]

Think of it every second,
I can't get nothing done.
Only concern is the next time, I'm 'gon get me some.
Know I should stay away from,
Cause it's no good for me.
I try and try but my obsession, won't let me leave.

[Hook #1]
I've got a problem and I (don't know what to do about it)
Even if I did I don't know if i would quit
But I doubt it. I'm,

Taken by the thought of it. (mmmm) (heeyh..)

And I know this much is true, (mmmm)
Baby, you have become my addiction.
I'm so strung out on you, (strung out on you..)
I can barely move...but I like it, (but I like it..)

So, then it's all because of you (all because of you) (aey!)
So, then it's all because of you (all because of you)
And it's all because of you (all because of you)
So, then it's all because...
Never get enough (Never get enough..)
She's the sweetest drug.

[Hook #2]
Ain't no doubt.... (no doubt heayh)
So strung out. (Strung out heeayh)
Ain't no doubt....
So strung out. (heahheh!)
Over you,
Over you,(yooouuu)
Over you(yooouuu)...


(Because of you)
(And it's all because of you)
(Never get enough)
(She's the sweetest drug)

And I know this much is true (Truuuuue)
Baby, you (baby yoou you you you) have become my addiction (become my addiction)
I'm so strung out on you,
I can barely move...but I like it (and I like it..yeaheh..)

So, then it's all because of you (aey!)(all because of you)
So, then it's all because of you (all because of you)
And it's all because of you (all because of you)
So, then it's all because...
Never get enough (Oooh never get enough)
She's the sweetest drug,
.....She's the sweetest drug.....

Damn Crazy Week..

Condolence to frens of mine. She lost her beloved father on Wednesday afternoon. Rest In Peace. This week, my day became so crazy with sadness n weird n sickness.. Today, im really sick. arghh, barely cant move.. i just stay at my room n i feel so bad.. My whole body is in pain.. My heart is the worst pain in me.. Last night i cant sleep till this morning.. worried too much.. while i typing this, my head spinning over like gasing huh.. after i finish with this, i go back to my bed lol.. not in the mood to eat.. i lost my appetite.. geez.. i worried so much.. keep thinking of that person.. gtg now.. i feel really sick..

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Take Me To Place With No Name

Tuesday, July 21, 2009 0
Yup.. that what im saying.. take me to place with no name.. my life kinda suck.. full of tense.. i wanna rest my soul n my brain for the rest of my life.. i wanna go to place that no one know me, no one can find me and it very far from city. As long i cant be found.. I bet no one will look for me.. hahaha.. 1st of all, i must get some money.. after that, i be gone and i wont come back if i found a place that give me peacefull mind.. maybe i will stay there n work there.. i dont care what work i will do as long im happy.. i looking for my own paradise.. about the other thing, i will think about it after i got a lot sum of money.. starting now, i gonna save my money.. im not gonna spend for something useless anymore.. hahaha..

It's all about the negative and positive..

What the hell im talkin about.. This blog gettin more serious matter.. Geez.. What i doing here again.. Forgot my main reason actually.. Well, this is me after all.. I read all my post and what a such an idiots.. This is kinda suck.. So lame.. Wish i dont know how to do this blog.. actually i got plenty of blog but i dont remember my id and my blog name.. i didnt save it b4 this.. maybe have been delete.. unlike this blog, i keep it and save it.. after all, i used this mail n i can remember it.. Now i dont care with everything i have except one things.. im so tired lol.. im gettin tension everyday.. none of it make me happy except one thing.. Well, i gettin used of it.. so, i just keep think positive and live on.. negative is all the time but negative plus negative it become positive.. what the hell.. i will continue this blog after all.. i dont care what the hell u all are saying.. go to hell.. ahaks.. peace...

Monday, July 20, 2009

Doing Like This And Like That..

Monday, July 20, 2009 0
Nothing to do after all. Just upgrade my blog.. Much better with the new look.. I just doing nothing.. Im not sign in my YM, MSN and SKYPE.. I need to do something that chased away my feeling.. Busying my self with some crazy stuff.. Now im happy when doing something that make my dad mad at me.. Atleast i wont think that make me sad.. Today i smash all my empty bottle of liquor.. Kinda fun to do.. LOL.. Im not doing at my place.. I doing it at somewhere else.. If i told u all, none of u will belived it.. Its called Tanah Perkuburan.. haha.. im bad after all.. do i care?, i dont care at all.. im crazy enuff today.. if the ghost wanna hunt me, hunt la.. let see who the crazies.. human or ghost.. blah la ko hantu.. do u think im scared, come n get me.. that what i shouted b4 im leaving.. if the ghost really hunt me, i be laughing at myself.. LOL.. haha..


Aku dalam kepura-puraan kah? Im saying im happy but deep inside me says otherwise. How come i feel so sad. I really dont know but im really sad. So sad. Arghhhhhhh... Tensionnya.. What is going on with me. I do feel mad, angry, frustrated and sad deeply inside me. Aku x tahan lg. Aku ingin luahkan semuanya. Kau.................... Aku x faham. Aku keliru. Aku nak tahu kebenaran. Aku macam orang bodoh. Sapa aku sebenarnya. Apa sebenarnya berlaku sejak dari mula lagi. Aku hanya persinggahan. Aku nak tahu keadaan sebenar. What the meaning of all this.

Menghancurkan diri aku..

I'm listening to this song. Its so meaningful to me. Its really describe who i am. How my feel and my soul. It really make me think how my life and expressed my self. Pertama kali ku mendengar lagu tuh, ya seolah2 menceritakan tentang aku sejak dr rangkap pertama sehingga ke rangkap terakhir. Seolah2 lagu tu tercipta untuk aku. Aku ulang lagu tuh sampai aku puas hati. Haha.. Aku cuma mengapai bintang yg jauh dr tangan aku. Hempasan ombak membuai pancaindera pendengaran aku. Mata ku di kaburi kepura-puraan. Nafas ku sesak seolah di altitud tinggi. Yang mana palsu dan yang mana benar. Kekeliruan merasuk jiwa ku lagi. Ingin ku luahkan, tp aku x berdaya. Seolah2 anak tekak ku hancur dimamah asid. Hati ku rapuh seperti kaca nipis. Kenyataan dan kepuraan di mata ku dan di hati ku menghancurkan diri aku. Kepahitan dan kemanisan dah x terasa di lidah ku. Ingin ku tutup mata ku. Ingin ku behenti berjalan. Tanpa menyesal aku bernafas. Hidup penuh kepura-puraan. So tired. So tired enuff till i cant breath. No answer n no question n no debate. Alangkah indahnya hidup sekiranya masalah dapat diselesaikan seperti mana lukisan manga, Cuma perlukan 2 petak lukisan, lukiskan 1 petak msalah dan 1 petak penyelesaian. Alangkah indah sekiranya hidup semudah itu.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Important thing..

Friday, July 17, 2009 0
I have been thinking about people around me, my life and how it goes. Tell the truth. Now i'm just realize how important is to appreciate my day, my life and people around me. Even thou my life suck sometime and really miserable due to my style of living. Lately it become more clear, it opened my eyes and change my perception for another point of view. It's doesn't matter how bad or good you are, how rich or poor you are, employed or unemployed you are and what kind of life style you really into. What did i mention just now, doesn't mean you can hangout around and don't care what happen around you. It does matter and we got to know. I tell you why and what i know from my point of view.

Ask yourself What is happening around you and do you care what is happening around you? Are you happy with it? This question related to yourself and how we appreciate what happening around us. I'm asking myself this question and think about it and look for the answer. After a while, i realize what i been missing in me. It's enjoyment and appreciate what happening in my life. It's doesn't matter if my life is happy or miserable, as long i'm happy with myself and appreciate every moment of my life is. This is what supposed i do.

This is Life. It's full of happiness and sadness, it depend how we take good care of our life. The most important thing is appreciate people around us especially the loved one and the family.Do always make priority for someone who we really care of. If you got a lot of work, lay back a lil bit and spend time with them even for a while. Make sure you know how to divide your time with your loved one. Sometime, when we lost someone, then we realize how important that person to us. So, do appreciate people around you.

Even thou bad things happen, we must accept what happen and follow the flow of our life. Look forward and walk with your head up. We can't change what did happen and we must live with what we got. If bad things happen, good thing will come with it too. God knows what good and bad for us. But the choice of our life still in our hand. The end of it, we must appreciate of our life and it's doesn't matter how your life is going on. Be happy and thankful for what you got. Keep the faith. Don't regret what you have done or your decision you take. Sometime, how hard you path is, there always be better life and the good thing is we learn something. Just keep walk till the end. There always be a sunshine after the rain. The important thing is, be yourself, appreciate and enjoy every moment of your life till the end of your life. Says love to your loved one today because tomorrow we never know if we alive to breath.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

I will waits for her..

Tuesday, July 14, 2009 0
Its been a while we both not contact each other. I miss her so much. So sad knowing her somewhere i couldn't go. She told me earlier about this. We both cant contact each other. Luckly im know where she is and what she been doing. Im just worried but i trust her.Just like what she said to me, sad and cry wasn't bring us anywhere. If we are meant to be together, we will meet again someday. Im just keep waits for that day. We both knows, this relationship will having such a pain. Wondering when we both will be together. Im just be happy and trust and have faith in her. She know better than me. Everyday i faced my day with her in my mind n my heart. I lost interest doing something i loved most to do ONLINE. Wish i were there with her. I love them both. Just like i told her, im sending her mail everyday. Report of my day at her. I miss her voice, her laugh, her cry, her smile , her anger and everything about her. Her dad, om ghost, so scared at him. Geez, compare to my dad. Both of them maybe got same attitude. Everyday with hot n spicy word. Just like what she said bising orang tua tok, sumbat mulut ya dengan roti baru diam. I miss her when she mad at someone. I do feel kinda funny with her and she make me laugh. Each time i remember she mad at my dad. Im laughing alone just like crazy person. The most im missing doing together with her is we both sing a song together. There are one song she gave to me, i cant stop laughing each time im listen to this song. I wont tell any of u. Its so funny enough. I dont know if she still remember that song. Hahaha.. I deeply in love with her. I will wait for her to come back to me. Better for me to go to sleep. gtg. sayonara..

Friday, July 10, 2009

ABC anyone....

Friday, July 10, 2009 0
Petang tadi, aku singgah kat gerai ABC yang terletak kat Matang. Cuaca time tu panas.. So, banyak orang dalam kedai tu.. Penuh gak le.. Tp aku bernasib baik.. Tiba je aku kat sana, kebetulan ada customer yang abis makan n beredar.. aku cepat2 duduk.. sebelum sekumpulan bapok take over.. Muahahhahaha... Aku buat muka selamber je.. Peduli aper aku.. Tauke, jagung satu.. Tauke tu jawab, okeh.. Bapok 3 orang tu smacam tengok aku.. Rasa nak bagi penampar je.. Tak sempat aku amek gambar dorang td.. Lama gak le aku tngu td.. Maybe banyak customer kot.. Yang pastinya, bapok tu duk jauh dari aku.. Hahaha.. Yang tak best nyer, time ais jagung aku tu datang, terlupa plak aku amek gambar.. Cettt... Dah makan baru ingat nak amek gambar. Lagipun saje nak test amek gambar ;p....Apa-apa pun, aku puas makan ais jagung.. brubbb... so, pastu aku blah le.. wahahaha.. tu je.. tak best pun ceta aku nih.. saje nak post benda nih..

Wednesday, July 8, 2009


Wednesday, July 8, 2009 0
Arghhh.. rindu nya aku kat dia.. only god knows how i feel.. sedih sgt.. aku sgt2 rindu kat dia.. huhuhu.. marah kat aku kah.. aku betul2 sayangkan dia.. kenapa dirimu tiba2 tanpa berita.. tell me... God help me... Plzzzzzzzz......... seharian aku terkenangan dia,, aku bimbangkan dia.. aku menunggu dia.. aku tak tahan dengan perasaan aku ini.. aku teringat kenangan ku bersama dia.. i need her so much.. hukhukhuk... where are u dear... sedih nya aku.. kerinduan tahap dewa pd mu.. i will wait for u.. i love u miss u so much dear.. please take care... muahhh..

Monday, July 6, 2009

Ada apa dalam hati ku..

Monday, July 6, 2009 0
Aku mencari-cari makna kehidupan. Adakah aku akan terus mencari makna sesebuah kehidupan. Adakah aku akan menemui kehidupan tersebut. Suatu persoalan yang sukar. Pilihan ada ditangan aku sendiri. Pilihan yang menentukan kehidupan aku. Hidup dan mati adalah salah satu pilihan. Hidup dalam kekosongan yang tidak tenteram dan jiwa yang bermasalah. Mati meninggalkan semua pelbagai masalah tapi adakah itu jalan penyelesaian. Hati ku tak pernah tenang dan perasaan yang mampu membuat orang menjadi gila. Aku tak tahan dengan kehidupan begini. Aku ingin menjalani kehidupan seperti orang lain. Ingin ku luahkan segala-galanya dalam hati aku tapi aku tak mampu buat begitu. Seolah-olah hati ku melarang membuat begitu. Aku simpan semuanya di dalam hati aku. Entah bagaimana meluahkan perasaaan dan ketidak tenangan dalam hati aku. Adakah dengan menulis di blog, aku mampu mengimbangi rasa luahkan aku. Penat dengan segala macam masalah yang timbul. Segalanya berpunca dari aku sendiri. Aku telah membuat pilihan suatu ketika dulu, dan tiada maknanya aku menyesal.

Kadang-kadang aku ingin melarikan diri aku dari masalah tapi itu bukan cara aku. Sebab aku tahu masalah tetap akan timbul dan muncul dalam kehidupan aku. Aku keliru dan tak tahu bagaimana lagi. Aku dah tak boleh buat keputusan lagi. Aku keliru dengan semua perkara. Pendirian aku dah goyah. Pedoman aku dah hilang. Perasaan aku dah kucar kacir. Hidup aku turun naik. Keinginan aku pudar. Keghairahan membuat sesuatu perkara dah berkurangan. Senyuman aku yang kian hilang. Kesedihan yang kian nyata. Dunia aku yang penuh suram dan sentiasa hujan dan mendung. Hidup aku seolah lagu yang hilang rentaknya. Aku semakin tertekan dan perasaan aku semakin murung. Kenapa aku menjadi begini? Dalam diri aku penuh dengan persoalan. Adakah aku telah berubah kepada seseorang yang mempunyai masalah mental. Adakah ini akibat dari mendengar masalah orang lain sehingga menjangkiti diri aku? Sesuatu perkara yang sukar diterima bagi diri aku.

Kemana hilangnya diri aku yang dulu. Seorang yang penuh passion dan fikiran positif. Seorang yang sentiasa melakukan kejutan. Seorang yang happy go lucky. Seorang yang mempunyai impian dan tanggungjawab dalam kehidupan. Seorang pemikir dan penyelesai masalah. Seorang yang simple dan easy friendly. Adakah aku melalui proses kematangan second stage? Suatu persoalan yang sukar aku ungkaikan. Sekarang, keinginan dan kemahuan dalam kehidupan aku semakin samar. Seolah-olah aku meraba dalam gelap. Kemana arah hala tuju aku? Siapa aku yang sebenarnya? Kenapa aku keliru dengan semua perkara? Apa pilihan yang terdapat pada aku? Adakah ini kehidupan aku?

Hati aku penuh dengan pelbagai masalah dan kemurungan. Adakah aku perlu jumpa pakar dalam pemasalahan ini? Adakah aku perlu menyembunyikan diri aku dari segala macam masalah buat seketika dan pergi merantau mencari ketenangan dalam diri aku. Entah apa jalan yang terbaik dalam diri aku. Ada hikmah kah disebalik semua masalah yang berlaku pada diri aku. Aku betul-betul keliru dengan semua ini. Aku cuma mahu menjalani kehidupan yang tenang. Kalau boleh, aku ingin menjadi halimunan dalam kehidupan semua orang. Tiada yang tahu, tiada yang peduli, tiada yang mencari dan tiada yang nampak aku melainkan seseorang. Aku cuma mahu senyum dan kebahagiaan dan kegembiraan aku dan bersama seseorang. Itu saja yang aku mahukan dan ianya cukup simple. Cukuplah dengan segala masalah yang ada.

Aku dah sedaya upaya tabah menjalani kehidupan aku yang sekarang. Kehidupan yang aku tak pernah sangka dan bayangkan dalam hidup aku. Apa yang perlu aku lakukan hanya bertahan dan sehingga aku tak mampu lagi menahan perasaan dalam hati aku. Oh Tuhan, cukup sudah masalah yang Kau beri pada ku. Rasanya tak mampu lagi aku menanggung masalah yang Kau berikan. Ringankan dan kurangkan segala masalah yang Kau berikan. Amin.

Friday, July 3, 2009

How To Smile?

Friday, July 3, 2009 0
Wondering my post title How To Smile?.. U wanna know.. Coz i cant smile.. hell yeah.. lately my mood unstable at all but i know how to control it anyway.. like usually, fake smile n happy is what im good at.. keep all my sadness by myself.. dont know where to let it out huh.. talking to myself again.. advice myself.. keep smile n walk forward.. how hard my path is, just keep walk n till the end of the road.. life is unpredictable.. sometime u are at the top, sometime u are at the bottom.. sometime i do jealous looks at others people smile.. but think again, are they faking their smile like me or honestly smile.. i really dont know.. what life it mean anyway.. i still looking for the answer.. maybe the answer is dead.. i feel i being fooling around by people around me.. penat sudah aku berpura2.. aku cuma melakonkan watak aku dlm hidup di dunia ini.. matikan saja watak aku.. itu la paling aku mahu skrg..

Thursday, July 2, 2009

No Title For This Post..

Thursday, July 2, 2009 0
Eloww.. Im back.. Nak luahkan apa yang aku rasa.. Aku sedih.. Entah apa yang aku buat sebelum ini masih belum cukup menyakinkan kah.. Selalu buat aku tertanya2.. Apakah dia menyintai aku dengan ikhlas.. Aku menyintai dia seolah2 hari ini hari terakhir aku hidup dan bersama dia.. Do i look unmatured towards her.. Judge me by its cover??.. I do talks weird thing but one reason i doing that is to make her smile.. I can be serious too.. All she needs is tell me and i can be serious.. I ask and told to my self, do i make her sad, i promise make her happy, i accept who she really are.. I do love her so much.. Cant she see what im been doing and how i talks to her.. Hmm..

Am i not good enough for her.. Sometimes, she make me laugh when i being serious. Its make me sad.. Is she cant smile with me?, im not good enough to make her cheer up.. Am i just a good listener after all, not good enough to advice others people.. But my frens says otherwise.. I really dont know.. Sighh.. How i dont worried if i know she is sick and have a lot of works to do.. If i could, i take her place and do all the works.. I know she can take care of herself but seeing and knows she sick and got a lot works to do is differents way point of view, how im not worried..

Live in reality life.. Im live in reality life.. Cant i have my own impian dan angan2. Impian dan angan2 membangkitkan semangat dan menjadikan seseorang tersebut berusaha dan mencapai sasaran. Impian dan angan2 bersama mu.. Have my own company, my own house, my own car, take care of u, live happily ever after.. Reality is hard to achieve but as long we didnt give up, we will achieve if someday.. Its a matter of time and experience of our live.. Its bring us looks forward and walking forward bringing with all sweet and sour of a past experience.. Its bring us to another level of life..

I still believed life is so sweet eventhough there a obstacle in our life.. I keep all the bad thing inside me all along.. Maybe my heart black cause of this.. Keep it all by myself.. Who wanna listen after all.. If i told her, i just burden her with my thought and my feeling and make her more miserable.. Good Friends or Best Friends?? Hahaha.. Thats make me laugh.. This is what in my mind and how my feeling is.. Sometime, i cant take this problem anymore, but i believed hidup susah dahulu sebelum hidup senang.. I think its unreasonable using that word at the time like this.. But this word keep me walk forward.. That all.. Thanx for reads. You all may comment..